Best Jokes For Senior Citizens

When people reach a certain age, they face many drawbacks that range from poor health, memory losses, creaky joints, unnecessary weight gain and for some, even holding urine in for long becomes a problem. Others go into depression and become irritable. However, there are several ways to make the transition to old age more fun. Several activities help senior citizens while away and make the best out of their retirement years. There is also the funny side of aging that makes old age less frustrating. Laughter is a cure and people that laugh, live stress-free lives. Jokes about growing old are not only hilarious but also quite relieving. Below are some of the best jokes for senior citizens that would make anyone laugh.

BEST JOKES FOR SENIOR CITIZENS

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There is this grandma who had put on a lot of weight. Her grandchildren kept asking her why she could not do something about her body. She looked at them and said, “If our bodies were car models, we would trade the current models to new ones because when this old model sneezes, sputters or coughs, the radiator acts up by leaking and backfiring from the exhaust”

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An elderly couple could no longer remember things as they used to. They arranged for a doctor’s appointment and after a thorough check-up, they were declared physically fit. They were however asked to write things down so that they did not keep forgetting in future.

They then went home and while they were watching their TV, the husband got up and asked the wife if he wanted anything from the kitchen. The wife asked for a bowl of ice cream. The husband said he would bring her the bowl of ice cream but the wife quipped, “Shouldn’t you write that down so you do not forget?” The husband said he would remember. The wife then went on and asked him to get for her the ice cream with a topping of strawberries. She again asked him to write her order down.

The husband still refused, saying he would remember everything. To emphasise, he repeated to his wife that she needed a bowl of ice cream with strawberries. The wife said she was not done and continued to ask him to add whipped cream, again reminding him to write the order down. The husband, now irritated shouted back that he did not need to write anything down. He repeated what his wife wanted. Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. The husband then went into the kitchen and came back after a while with a plate of eggs and bacon. The wife looked at the plate for a while and shouted to the husband. “You forgot my toast”

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An elderly man had problems with his hearing and he decided to visit a specialist. After a thorough check-up, the specialist fitted the old man with hearing aids. His hearing got strong and he could hear everything said around him. However, after a couple of weeks, the old man went back to the specialist and asked him if he was sure, the hearing aids were completely fine.

The specialist said he was sure and asked the old man if he had any problems using them. He further went on to tell the old man that he was sure his whole family was happy that he could hear them all now. The old man said that he had not let any of his family members know about the hearing aids yet. He said he just sat there quietly listening to them all as they went on about their businesses and that within that period, he had changed his will four times.

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One day, John, an 80-year-old man had some health problems and went to see a doctor. A few weeks later, the doctor saw John walking in town looking happy with a very young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, John went back to the doctor for his usual appointment. The doctor complimented John for doing so great within such a short time.

John all smiles, looked at his doctor and said, “All thanks to you doctor. I followed all the instructions you gave me and this mamma is cheering me up” the doctor looked at John and said “John I said you got a heart murmur and you should take care of your health but I did not tell you to get a mamma”

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James, a 65-year-old man was concerned that his wife was gaining so much weight and asked her to reduce it for the sake of her health. For three months, Helen, his wife who was only two years younger than he was, kept her gym schedule and never missed a day. After about four months, she still weighed the same or even more and the husband wondered why.

He called the gym instructor to ask why his wife was not reducing any weight and the instructor sent James pictures of how Helen spent her days in the gym. Helen and her best friend met every day to step on the aerobic machines and gossip without doing any exercises.

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For her 70th birthday, Eunice decided to give herself a special treat. She chose a luxurious hotel for an overnight stay. In the morning when she was checking out, she was handed a bill of $255.00. She asked why her bill was inflated for just a night yet she did not even take any breakfast. The hotel manager told her that, what she had on the bill was the hotels standard rate, which was inclusive of breakfast.

The manager further went to tell Eunice that the hotel had very many other facilities like a swimming pool, in-hotel shows, a large conference room, great entertainers and many more that were all inclusive in the standard charges. Eunice said that she did not use any of the offers so her bill should be less than what she was getting. The manager then told her that all those were at her disposal but she refused to use them.

Eunice shrugged and wrote the manager a cheque. When the manager looked at the cheque, it was for $55. She asked Eunice why she was paying $55.00 instead of $255.00. Eunice looked at the manager and told him; “My charges for sleeping with me last night are $200.00” the manager looked at her and said he had not slept with her. Walking away, Eunice said,” well, I was available and you could have slept with me but you did not”

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WRAPPING IT UP

I bet you had a few laughs after reading the above senior citizen jokes. These, and many more are what make us appreciate senior citizens even more. What is your best senior citizen joke?

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